I recently talked about my childhood stories that sound fake but are true. I exposed myself for being an overreactor and a sleepwalker who moves furniture. Today, I’m going to be exposing all the things about me that I hate talking about because it shows how inept I am! Yeah! Let’s go!
First, I can’t ride a bike. I tried, you know. I have a vivid memory of fourth grade and my mom trying to teach me. My class was having a fieldtrip where we rode bikes and I didn’t want to be the odd one out. A whole weekend of trying to ride and my mom yelling and me crying didn’t go as planned. I got to the fieldtrip with my purple bike and started riding. For one second before I lost my balance. The teacher that was at the back of the group saw me struggling and let me ride in the park rangers car. That wasn’t embarrassing at all! I think the reason I don’t like bikes is because I don’t like feeling not in control of my body. I want my feet to be planted on the ground. Normalize adults having training wheels!
Another normal skill I can’t do is swim! I’m scared of drowning, and, well, everything. The water scares me in the sense that it goes on forever. Pools are cool, though. I just don’t tread the water. I love being 21 and not using a diving board! Similar to the bike thing, I want to be in control of my body. I also don’t like roller skating, skateboarding, or ice skating. I’m just buckets of fun, aren’t I?
I also don’t know how to drive. I know. This is the worst one on the list. I also tried. Every time I went out to practice with my parents I panicked. I’m terrified of making a mistake and something happening to me or the people around me. I know realistically that I need to drive and eventually I will need to get my license. Now it’s just a sensitive topic for me because my parents love to hold it against me. But, it’s my own fault.
Let’s stop talking about the things I can’t due before my computer malfunctions because of my tears. A random thing about me that my cousin Andrew likes to hold over my head is my fanfiction past. Anyone in to media has probably read fanfiction. I took it a step farther and wrote some. From the ages of 15 and 16 I wrote fanfiction for the Disney Channel show Austin & Ally. And you know what, I’m proud of it! I’m not the best writer ever and most teenagers don’t watch Disney Channel shows religiously but it was nice to hear, well, nice things about my writing. People really liked my stories and I liked getting feedback. So, Andrew, I exposed myself before you could expose me.
I could go on and on, exposing all of the embarrassing stuff about me but I’d rather stop here. I can only bully my self for so long at one time.